friends

Respect One Another

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I’ve stepped away on purpose the last few weeks. There is so much heartbreaking news out there, and I didn’t feel I had anything to offer the conversation. But, ignoring it somehow seemed wrong. Today I intended to post something fun as a get our minds off all of sadness. But I can’t do it. hands-683950_960_720

Instead I’ll say the one thing that keeps running through my mind. Can’t we just respect one another.

I’m not saying we should put aside all of our differences, hold hands and sing Kumbaya. I’m not even saying we should like one another. It would be nice, but let’s be honest…that’s never going to happen in my lifetime. Some of the differences are a really important to who we are and deserve to be focused on and discussed. It’s the differences that will help us as a society learn and, one day, move forward.

But today is not that day.

Asking people to love one another is impossible until people learn to respect one another. So that’s what my message is today. You don’t have to love thy neighbor. Hell, you don’t even have to like them. But try a little respect. They are a human being. They have hopes and dreams. They love someone, and someone loves them. They are someone’s child. They may be someone’s sibling or parent. They have friends. There are things that make them laugh and things that make them cry. They will bleed. They will die.

They are a living, breathing human being. The color of their skin, the person that they love, the higher power they believe in – or don’t believe in, their sex and sexual identity is all secondary to the fact that they are a living, breathing human being. Just like you. Just like me, and the person down the street. Just like every person of color. Just like every cop. Just like every gay man and woman. We are all living, breathing human beings.

Maybe I’m just stupid or naive, but shouldn’t that be the most important part? If you can’t find a way to respect someone for any other reason, can’t you at least respect the fact that they are a human being? They are here trying to live the best they can, and when they’re gone someone will cry for them.

I know that even asking us to be nice to one another at this point is probably a lost cause. So, can we start with respect? For one day, don’t just automatically go on the attack or on the defensive. Respect the people around you. You don’t have to get carried away, just…I don’t know…say excuse me when you walk in front of someone. Hold a door open. Say thank you and your welcome. Acknowledge that the people around you, even the people who say you hate, are PEOPLE. Human beings. Living, breathing, feeling beings just like you.

For one day try to respect them. And then tomorrow, try doing it for another day. And the day after that…and the day after that…and the day after that…And maybe one day we’ll find that we really do respect the people we’re different from. May that day we can move on and find a way get along.rainbow-436171_960_720

Friends are Friends Forever

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I was introduced to a song by Michael W. Smith called “Friends are Friends Forever” back in high school. It was a really meaningful part of the memories and friendships I created then. Looking back now, I know that those words really are true. I have seen over and over again that people come into your life and go out of your life, and somehow are in your life again just when you need them. I’ve seen again just recently, and I am feeling very blessed.

It goes beyond networking. It’s way past making connections. Or linking up (or in). It’s people knowing people and helping people. People willing to go the extra mile for someone. People caring for someone else and not being afraid to let them know.

You can’t put a price tag on it. You can’t market it. You can’t put it on a slide or enter it in a data base. It’s not something you can mock-up or boil down. It’s one of the great intangibles that I love about human beings. That bit when someone from our pasts, especially someone we had once been close to but  haven’t talked in a while, suddenly pops-up at the right place and the right time when we need them most. Or they return the phone we’re certain they won’t.

In those moments we start to feel the most alone we are often reminded that friends are friends forever. And that is awesome.

Miss Communication – Did You Really Just Tweet That?!?

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A family with the faces blacked out

Protecting your on-line image is a family affair.

It comes back around every few months. Someone is surprised that they got in trouble at work for tweeting something negative about the company. Or they posted on Facebook about how they called in sick to work to get drunk with their friends, forgetting that they “friended” their boss and are shocked that they lost their jobs. There are the students who get freaked out when the school or professor comments on a post.

But why? When you post something on the world-wide web there is a very good chance that someone in the world will see it. There really is no such thing as private on the internet. There are glitches and hacks all the time. Nothing you post anywhere is really private.

And it lives forever. Once you hit send the picture, joke or rant is out of your hands and out there for others to use and consume the way they see fit. Sure you can recall an email, but it doesn’t get it unseen. And if you don’t recall it fast enough it could be tucked away in a folder somewhere waiting for a chance to surprise you.

The ability to share thoughts and feelings as we have them is addicting. Having followers and friends who will listen and comment on life’s ups and downs provides a certain feeling of power. But what people forget is those thoughts and feelings don’t just go out to the people who follow you, they can go to anyone who’s looking for them. Those pictures from the weekend if Vegas with college friends are not going to stay in Vegas.

More and more people are getting haunted while looking for a job. Rachel Gogos discusses how social media can hurt your job hunt and keep you from landing the job of your dreams. What seems like a harmless tweet today could be found by a recruiter or hiring manager and keep you from being considered for a job. Put yourself in their place. Would you hire a woman for a teaching position when googling her name brings up pictures of keg stands and wardrobe malfunctions? Or a man for a diversity program who has a drunken rant against ethnic groups on YouTube?

And while there are companies that can excise your on-line demons, you can save some time and money by being smart. Don’t put pictures, videos, tweets or status updates or blog posts that can and will come back to bite you. I know, easier said than done. It’s harder today than it was when you only had to worry about your reputation for as long as someone had the photographs. You could only be embarrassed by them in front of the people someone was able to show them too. Today it takes seconds for your reputation to change.

The moral of the story is this, think before you send. Take a moment to pause before a picture gets taken or cameras start to roll or you send that post. Is this really what you want to be known for? Is this what you want people world-wide to know or think about you? Once that button gets clicked it’s too late to take it back.